2014.

Well its already the 3rd of January and I still haven't had my kiss yet this year. Even though we don't really stay up at midnight anymore but we kissed everyday! I miss him so much! It was so hard to let him get on that bus! I wanted to run and tell him NO! Don't do it! I know its all for the better. Waiting for his call on Wednesday was so horrible. I wasn't guaranteed to get it that day, but I just had a feeling I would get it. Everything reminds me of him. Last night I got a package of  ink that Ryan ordered before he left. It was a cheaper version of what our printer called for and he said it would work. Well I tried to install it yesterday but instead I got black ink all over my right hand and the printer would not recognize the ink or let me bypass it! I was so angry at him and then I was sad because he was not here for me to get mad at or for him to fix it! I rely on him so much! I know I need to be more independent and this is a really good opportunity for that, but it doesn't change the fact that he is my soul mate and I am in this big world without him. I am going to do so many things myself. I am so thankful that this time around I have family because when he deploys we will probably be far away from them. I am glad that I am getting to meet my new family, my Air Force family! They are all so kind and welcoming! I am connecting with so many people! I think that has really been a big help! I am getting all this support through the Air Force WingMOM networking on facebook. On Monday I even got to meet the creator and founder, Lisa! She is amazing! It turns out she even lives right down the street from me! I really hope I get to know her better and maybe when my journey is over I can help others. I am already trying to help out a little by finding people on instagram and directing them to AFWM! I feel like every little things reminds me of him. Songs on the radio, my ink stained right hand, the package the ink came in had this HUGE A3 on it and that is his rank, and even this show I watched this morning, this couple reunited after a long time of not seeing each other were playing the card game WAR. I had never played that game before. When we were waiting on Monday at Meps, Ryan showed me how to play. It was fun for like the first 30 minutes, but after a while we stopped and relaxed on a couch and watched a movie and then of course of only a few minutes of enjoying his closeness he gets called to swear in. I am so happy that I got to stay there the whole morning and afternoon with him. I am definitely thankful that I decided to not bring Donnie. I am so lucky my little sister watched him for us. She comes to my rescue a lot! It sounds like my little man knows I am talking about him and it sounds like he is waking up. Here's to a great day! I really hope I get a call tomorrow. If not at least this first week is almost over!

Our last picture of 2013. Right before he stepped on the bus.