Get to it

The time is nearing to leave our first home outside of Texas. I knew this day would come, but honestly I did not think it would come so soon. One minute I am so excited and the next extremely sad. I am so thankful for the internet because that is how I met a great friend before we came to South Dakota and she then introduced me to a great group of women. I love knowing I will still have friends when I come back to South Dakota. Six Months is not that long, but it still is not fun to think about. I do not think there is a job Ryan could have had that would allow me to stay home with our son. I am ever so grateful for that. I honestly did not even imagine this lifestyle. I know there are so many things I still don't know, but I am learning everyday. Especially about OPSEC. Basically keep your mouth shut. I can't say where Ryan is going or when he leaves and I get it, but, but well nothing. We have been apart before not too long ago and had very little contact so I am trying to remember that to help me get through this. I know I am not the only one going through this, but it still sucks. That's really the only way I can describe it. In all reality Ryan promised to serve this country and he is upholding that promise and I could not be more proud of him. My son has a great role model. And I have an amazing husband. 

I think the one thing that's not helping at all is packing. Packing up a small item that holds so many memories. Whether its a box holding 10 year old love notes, a CD that was gifted to me because Ryan was heading in the right direction 10 years ago, Donnie's hospital tag, an engraved mug, I mean the list goes on and on. A lifetime worth of memories that I honestly haven't given a thought to in months and months are so now precious again. I think this move is not only resurfacing memories for me but for Ryan too. I won't go any further than that, but my heart aches for him. He is always keeping me together emotionally. He is always the voice of reason, calmness, and assurance. I owe it to him to be the same when he needs it. As much as I want to cry all day everyday, I know that he needs me to be strong. And I am in no way doing it alone. I am so thankful for family and friends for their encouragement. Also there is a sweet, smart, little rascal that keeps me going as well. 

As much as I've delayed getting back to packing, I must get to it. 

“We must learn how to explode! Any disease is healthier than the one provoked by a hoarded rage.” 
― Emil Cioran